A 12 Step Program for Rejected Writers

Every month, we’ll share a free article that recently appeared in the pages of Children’s Book Insider, the Children’s Writing Monthly. To learn more about the magazine and get a special offer, go to http://ift.tt/2wG9fNN/

 

This month, we present a fantastic piece by Jane McBride that will give you the tools to not only overcome rejection, but thrive as a result of it.  It’s extremely empowering, and we’re sure you’ll love it.

 

This article originally appeared in the October, 2017 edition of Children’s Book Insider.

 

 

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by Jane McBride 

 

Having had a family member go through the 12 step program originated in AA, I have always had the highest esteem for this inspired program and have witnessed the miracles it can work.

 

With many rejections under my belt, including one scathing one where an editor suggested I find a different career path, I have looked for ways to deal with the sometimes crippling effects of rejection. I came up with my own 12 step program for writers who are dealing with their work having been rejected by agents or editors:

 

1. Admit to ourselves we do not have control over rejection.
2. Come to believe that we can take back some control by working to improve our writing.
3. Make a decision to do the work necessary to improve.
4. Make a searching inventory of our strengths and weaknesses in writing.
5. Admit to ourselves the exact nature of where we went wrong in a particular project.
6. Are ready to work to improve our writing in any way we can.
7. Humbly accept that our writing needs improvement.
8. Make a list of all the ways we could improve.
9. Make plans to address our weaknesses, as in taking a workshop, attending a conference, seeking out a critique partner, etc.
10. Continue to take inventory of our strengths and weaknesses in writing.
11. Seek to improve our writing skill by continuing to write, take classes, and other means.
12. Try to help other writers whenever we can.

 

Let’s take these steps one at a time and see how we can apply them to dealing with rejections.

 

Step 1: Admit to ourselves that we do not have control over rejection. I own up to the fact that I am a bit of a control freak. I want to know that if I do A, then B will happen. In the case of my writing, I want to know that if I write the best book of which I am capable (A), the book will sell (B). The fact is, these two do not always go together. I’ve sold thirty-six books over the course of my writing career of, coincidentally, thirty-six years. However, I have written many more books than thirty-six, books which did not sell. No matter how hard I tried to make these books as good as possible, they failed to sell. Much of that was my fault in that I didn’t possess the talent or skill early in my career to write a publishable book. Some of the reasons the books didn’t sell were changing market condition and change of editors. Though I do have control over developing my talent and skill, I didn’t possess those at that time.

 

Step 2. Come to believe that we can take back some control by working to improve our writing. As stated above, I didn’t possess the skill to write salable books at the beginning of my writing, but I knew that I could learn.

 

Step 3. Make a decision to do the work necessary to improve. I resolved that I would develop my story- telling and writing talents. This took years, but I persevered. Though I have given up on other self-improvement goals, I knew I could not give up on this one. Writing was and is too important.

 

Step 4. Make a searching inventory of our strengths and weaknesses in writing. I have been told by editors and readers that I have a talent for writing dialogue and developing characters. Similarly, I have been told, mostly in rejection letters, that I lack plotting talents. (Even after all these years, I still lack these, but I’m getting better.) I determined that I would showcase my strengths, i.e. dialogue and characterization, and learn to make my plotting better.

 

Step 5. Admit to ourselves the exact nature of where we went wrong on a particular project. In one very ambitious project, a 100,000 word suspense novel, I finally had to admit that I had not thought the story all the way through and that the plot inconsistencies were too many to overcome. In addition, I was trying to balance too many points-of-view.

 

Step 6. Are ready to improve our writing in every way we can. I joke with writer friends that what I lack in talent, I make up for in sheer stubbornness. I refused to give up writing, even when the rejections came so quickly that I could hardly keep them straight. I have watched friends who were talented drop out of writing, unable to keep up the commitment and dedication necessary to succeed.

 

Step 7. Humbly accept that our writing needs improvement. This is a hard one. Admitting and accepting that our writing is not perfect requires maturity and humility. The editor whom I referenced at the beginning of this article was right to reject the book I submitted to her. (I still think she could have done it more kindly, but she was right: the book was terrible.) Accepting that took me a long time, a period where I sulked and pouted instead of working on improving my writing.

 

Step 8. Make a list of all the ways we could improve. I mentioned my difficulties in plotting. I continually struggle to strengthen my plotting techniques. I also have a problem of using the same word over and over again. I have a list of my “pet” words, words I try to avoid using very often, and yet they still find their way into my writing.

 

Step 9. Make plans to address our weakness by taking a workshop, attending writers’ conferences, seeking a critique partner, etc. Over the years I have attended many workshops and conferences. I belong to a writers’ group where I am fortunate enough to have a wonderful critique partner. In short, I am doing every thing I can to make my writing better.

 

Step 10. Continue to take inventory of our strengths and weaknesses in writing. Improvement is not a destination. It is a continuing journey. Understand that if you want to succeed, you must always be striving.

 

Step 11. Seek to improve our writing skill by writing, taking classes, and others. One long-time writer friend once asked me why I continued to attend workshops and conferences when I was already multi-published. I replied that I hoped I would never stop learning or wanting to learn. When we do that, we stagnate and our writing reflects it.

 

Step 12. Try to help others whenever we can. Most writers are incredibly generous with their talents. I have had many successful writers offer encouragement and help to me along the way. In turn I try to pass this along by helping others, mentoring a young writer in middle school, appearing at school classes which are studying writing, critiquing those who ask for feedback. In helping others, I am not only passing along the good which was done for me but also strengthening my own skills by teaching and mentoring.

 

Whatever level you are at in your writing career at the moment, I hope you will find at least a few of these steps helpful. For real writers, writing is not just what we do, it is who we are. We need to arm ourselves for the inevitable rejections and hardships that a career in writing entails.

The post A 12 Step Program for Rejected Writers appeared first on   WriteForKids - Writing Children's Books.

What’s YOUR Writing Profile? Find Out Now!

By Jon Bard

 

No two writers are created alike.  Some of us are masters of planning and organization.  Others among us live by improvisation and spontaneity.  And still others work somewhere in the middle.

 

You probably heard of writers being described as “plotters” or “pantsters” (as in “seat of their pants”).   And perhaps you’ve even identified as one or the other.  But it’s never really gone deeper than that.

 

Until now.

 

We’ve just created something that will help you truly understand how you operate as a writer, lay out the dangers you might face as a result, highlight the special opportunities you have and provide specific strategic steps to make your writing career more fun, more successful and, hopefully, more lucrative.

 

 

 

 

Introducing the Writing Profile.  It’s a fun, brief quiz that will pinpoint exactly the kind of writer you are and it comes with a  personalized report that will help you adjust, adapt and thrive.

 

And yep, it’s completely free.  

 

It’s our gift to the writing community.  So please, after you take it and see how cool it is, feel free to share it far and wide.

 

Here’s the link:  

 

 http://ift.tt/2pD6k5v

 

 

After you get your report, come back and leave a message in the comments section.  Tell us if you’re a Visionary, Mapmaker or Pathfinder, and what you learned about yourself.

 

Have fun!

 

 

This is a post from writeforkids.org. Read the original post: What’s YOUR Writing Profile? Find Out Now!

The Surprising Benefits of Rejection

By Guest Author

 

 by Jane Choate

 

“We are all failures. At least the best of us are.”— J. M. Barrie, author

 

Most working writers have extensive experience with rejection. When I complained to my husband Larry one day that I had received five rejections in the mail, he said, “Congratulations. When you’ve received ten in one day, you’ll know that you’re a real writer.” (In those days, rejections came in the form of an SASEs, self -addressed stamped envelopes, which writers carefully enclosed with their submissions. These days, rejections typically come via email. Either way, they are devastating.) I wanted to throw something at him. Actually, I wanted to slap him silly, but I refrained. Barely. “Five rejections isn’t enough?” I yelled at him. “You want me to get ten rejections? How many rejections do I have to get until I get an acceptance?” “As many as it takes.” Larry had reason to know about rejection as he worked to get a start-up engineering business off the ground. In his field, rejections came in the form of clients who didn’t renew contracts.

 

(Just a note: Larry and I are still married, having just celebrated our 43rd anniversary.)

 

This piece of conversation has stayed with me, though it occurred several decades ago. It was early in my writing career. I struggled to fit writing in to a schedule already crowded with the demands of being a full-time mother to five children whose activities ranged from flag football to piano lessons to book club. An occasional acceptance on an article or short story to a small magazine kept me going, that and a determination that I would succeed at writing, no matter what.

 

I’ve progressed in my writing, now receiving more acceptances, but the rejections still come. And, despite my vast experience with them, they still hurt. Sometimes, I think about giving up and becoming a rocket scientist or a special ops soldier or something— anything—easier than being a writer. But I keep writing.

 

Occasionally we hear of writers who have never received a rejection. Privately, I doubt those stories, but they persist. If you are a writer who has never been rejected, you won’t need this article and should promptly ignore it in favor of one that resonates with you. If, on the other hand, you have received rejections, if you are still receiving them, then you may learn something.

 

Now that we’ve discussed the pain of rejection, let’s move on to the positives. Can rejection have benefits? Surprisingly, yes.

 

Rejection develops greater maturity both professionally and personally. I am a better writer and a better person because of the rejections I’ve received. I’ve developed a determination that keeps me going, in writing and in other aspects of life. Those dreaded SASEs with form letters that say, “Thank you for your contribution, but this doesn’t work for us” that showed up in the mail with depressing regularity caused me to grit my teeth and persevere. Likewise, when I suffer a setback in my personal life, I grit my teeth once more and press ahead.

 

Rejection creates resilience. Imagine a writer such as described three paragraphs above who has never been rejected. Everything she turns in is perfect and eagerly gobbled up by editors who can’t get enough of her work. What happens if this gifted writer suddenly does receive a rejection? How does she handle it? Probably not very well. Having never dealt with rejection, she doesn’t understand that it is but one part of the writing life. Those of us who have dealt with rejection for years, even decades, know that rejection does not mean failure. Rejection isn’t permanent; it is temporary, as is success. What counts is what you do after getting a rejection. Do you keep writing and keep submitting? Or do you give up? Giving up is the only true definition of failure.

 

Rejection prompts change. If my work had never been rejected, I would have continued writing as I had in those early years. I would have kept making the same mistakes, kept producing work that was inferior with flat characters, trivial plots without conflict, and banal dialogue. As I think back to some of my earlier manuscripts, I blush in embarrassment and thank the heavens that they were never published.

 

Rejection provides greater opportunities. I was rejected by one publisher over and over and over. One editor took an interest in me, though she had yet to buy a manuscript from me. At the time, I didn’t realize how fortunate I was that she even knew my name, much less found something in my work to catch her attention. I learned of a one-time opportunity, to submit a novella to the publisher. (Because I had kept up on news about this publisher, I knew of the project before many other writers learned of it. Never discount the importance of timing.) It was a trial on the publisher’s part, to see how a 20,000 word novella would do in their publishing model, which normally stuck to full length novels. I decided to go for it. I sent in my novella. The editor in charge of the project was the one who had spent time and effort encouraging me. She read my work and liked it. She offered me a contract and remains friendly with me to this day, nearly 25 years following that sale.

 

Rejection pushes talents. I’ve been told that I have a talent for writing emotion. I’ve also been told that my plotting skills need work. Serious work. Such terms as “inconsistent plotting” and “episodic plotting” have repeatedly shown up in rejection letters. I continue to try to write emotional stories, just as I continue to work on my plotting techniques. I know that if I am to get to the next level in writing, I need to build upon my strengths while, at the same time, improve those areas where I am weak. It is a matter of balance—maintaining your strengths while admitting to and working on weaknesses.

 

Rejection motivates. I’ve been writing for 35 years. Over that period of time, I’ve received hundreds of rejections, ranging from short stories to articles to novels. I’ve also received acceptances. Guess which ones motivated me to keep trying to improve? If you guessed rejections, you’d be right. Don’t get me wrong. Acceptances are great. Upon receiving one, I pat myself on the back, preen a bit, and am tempted more than once to rest upon my laurels, modest though they are. But it is the rejections that keep me writing, calling upon skills that I didn’t know I had. It is the rejections that make me want to do better, to overcome my poor plotting skills, to strengthen my characterization, to craft more realistic dialogue. It is the rejections that make me a better writer. As Benjamin Franklin stated, “The things which hurt, instruct.”

 

Rejection is no fun. I still gnash my teeth when I receive one, still wonder how I can garner so many when I’ve been at this business for such a long time. In the end, though, I keep trying.

 

“Always bear in mind that your resolution to succeed is more important than any other thing.”—Abraham Lincoln

 

 

This is a post from writeforkids.org. Read the original post: The Surprising Benefits of Rejection

Five Minutes to Change Your Life Forever

By Jon Bard

I recently heard something that has impacted me in a profound way.  I wanted to share it because it might do the same for you.

 

It’s from an author named Hal Elrod, who said this:

 

Where you are today is the result of choices you made in the past.

 

Where you will be tomorrow will be the result of the choices you make today.

 

Wow.

 

Here’s what it means to me:

 

We tell ourselves things about ourselves all the time as if they are set in stone.  Stuff like…

 

“I’m terrified of putting myself out there and being judged….”

“I’m not disciplined enough to write every day….”

“I’m too shy to ever speak in public…”

“I’m not meant to stand out or be famous.  That’s for other people, but not me…..”

“I’m too old to succeed….”

“I’m not educated enough to succeed….”

“I’m not talented enough to succeed….”

 

                                                        and on and on and on.

 

We view these statements as objective truths, as if someone out there has decreed them and we have no choice but to live our lives in accordance with them.

 

But wait — that’s really not at all true!    We are the ones who have decreed these things, and we are the ones who choose to remember them every day and live small lives as a result of these phony beliefs.

 

And — here’s the key thing — if we choose to believe them, we can also choose to discard them!

 

Since hearing Hal say that, I’ve started making a list of the “truths” about myself that I’ve always believed – just 5 minutes here and there as they occur to me.

 

Things about my commitment to health, success and living a bigger life that have kept me from reaching my potential.  Stuff that was ingrained in me at a young age by things people may have said, and things that I’ve told myself over the years to stay inside my comfort bubble.

 

And, for each one, I’m simply asking:

 

• Is this actually true or is it a false belief that I can discard?
• How can I choose today to leave this belief behind and move forward boldly?

 

It’s an exciting process, and very, very illuminating.   I invite you to do the same as you think ahead toward the New Year.

 

You might just find that most of the “facts” you’ve come to believe about yourself are little more than falsehoods that you choose to believe about yourself.

 

Try leaving them in the dust and choosing something different, and watch your career — and your life — blossom in 2016.

 

Fondly,

 

PS:  I have a hidden motive for talking to you about this.  As writers for children and teens you are uniquely capable of sharing this thinking with young people, who can benefit greatly from leading lives without phony self-limiting beliefs.  How can you inform your writing with this message, and spark your readers on to great things?

 

Something to ponder, isn’t it?

This is a post from writeforkids.org. Read the original post: Five Minutes to Change Your Life Forever

Terrified by Marketing? Then Don’t. Do This Instead…

By Jon Bard

I get it.  You’re a writer, not a marketer.  You’re not excited by the notion of “hawking your wares” or “pushing your book”.  You think that, every time you ask someone for money, a little piece of your soul dissolves.

 

In today’s publishing environment, those who get the shakes at the thought of self-promotion have been given two choices when it comes to their fear of book marketing:

 

1. Get Over It

2. Become extinct.

 

May I offer a third choice?

 

 

Forget about book marketing, forget about promotion, forget about selling.

 

 

Instead, focus on advocating.

 

 

Here’s what I mean:

 

You’ve written (or you’re planning to write) a book, app or eBook that will bring something meaningful to the life of readers. Perhaps you have a message to share, important information to teach, an inspirational tale to tell or you just want to give your new friends a few giggles to brighten a day.
That’s a pretty important contribution, and it deserves to flourish.

 

So let me ask you this: How, exactly, will that reader ever be impacted by your work if no one tells her about it? How will her life be changed by your words if you keep everything to yourself?

 

It’s up to you to reach her. In fact, you’re doing her a great disservice by not reaching her!

 

How do you reach her? By marketing. No, scratch that — by advocating for your work.

 

By bringing people together with a goal not only to sell your book, but to improve their life experience. By going to where your prospective readers are hanging out (or, perhaps where their parents are hanging out) and becoming part of their world. (And then having them become part of your world.) By moving forward with a certainty that you have something important to share and you’re bound and determined to share it.

 

Let me be clear:  if you have created something that will enhance another person’s life, you owe it to them to tell them about it!

 

If you’re truly a writer, the opportunity to advocate for yourself and your work should thrill you.  Heck – it’s right in your wheelhouse.  You’re a communicator, and this is about communication.  You’re a wordsmith, and this is about putting words together on a  blog, on Facebook and on Twitter.  You love young people, and this is a further opportunity to connect with them and learn from them.

 

What’s so scary about that?  In fact, if you’re like most writers, you’ll find that advocating for your work is rewarding, fun and full of surprises.

 

So, there it is — if you’re not cut out to be a marketer, then don’t become one.  Instead, become an advocate.

 

And then go change the world!

 

 

Tomorrow, I’ll be back with an exclusive video sneak peek from my new course Easy Author Marketing.  I think it will really open your eyes — so stay tuned!

 

 

 

This is a post from writeforkids.org. Read the original post: Terrified by Marketing? Then Don’t. Do This Instead…